Do I Have Psychosis? Whats Wrong With Me? Schitzoaffection Disorder?
Question by Saul: Do i have psychosis? whats wrong with me? schitzoaffection disorder?
ok im 16 and i live in scotland, i was recently diagnosed with autism but that’s not what this is about i’ve always been completely different from everyone, never in my life have i found someone that i feel understands me properly, like, i would affiliate or put myself in any particular group and where other people seem to just understand how to act and the rules of social conduct i never have, this does bother me somewhat but ive also kind of adapted to be proud of being different (probably a subconscious defense ,mechanism) ive had to teach myself, but ive been somewhat successful in that department as another thing i have is that ive always had a profound liquid intelligence way beyond my years, for example i spend a lot of time just trying to work out the world and the universe like, my own philosophy and theology and epistemology and recently i keep finding out that theories ive come up with completely on my own just daydreaming are actually already published theories of physics, but anyway bottom line, im weird and i always have been, im not going for a sympathy vote here im just saying its a fact.
so as im sure you already guessed i really love my drugs and have been taking everything (acid, ecstasy, miaow miaow, magic mushrooms, valium, ketamine, cocaine, MD-MA powder, anything that isn’t heroin, crack or crystal meth {the really bad ones} and daily use of cannabis and regular drinking too) for about 4 years, partying all the time, on top of that ive had on/off insomnia for about five years. Ive always suspected that i might have some mental condition or other and when i got diagnosed with autism i went that’s it, and it does explain a lot about my life, but not this recently, so here’s my problem: about seven months ago when i was at work i had a strange experience, it was quiet and i was sitting daydreaming and thinking about the nature of reality when i looked at the counter and all around at all the objects around me and kind of thought, what is all this stuff!? i mean yeah its a counter but its not, its a piece of wood and paint and gloss, like where did all this stuff just manifest from, i wasnt thinking about, someone built it and put it there i was just like, these things have just been thrust here and it gets called reality, i felt like, well the best i can explain it is like i was a character in a video game and watching myself watching life happen to me through a screen or something, i wrote this off as a spiritual experience, but then later i found that if i thought “what is this!?” and kind of open my eyes a little wider i could make it happen on demand, but then it just started happening randomly on and off until now ive come to a point where everythinfg constantly looks distorted and surreal and almost like, playdoh or as if i could just put my hand right through it, all the time, like im in a dream, i cant think as well as i used to cause i never feel like, grounded, like, back at home base if you get what i mean, im always distracted by how weird everything looks, as well as this i have weird tiny hallucinations like sometimes i think i can see someone on the other side of the street and i look and theres no one there, or i was sitting on my friends bed and there was three of us all facing the same way in the dark looking at the tv and suddenly i thought i could see my friend staring right at me right next to me. i quit drugs about four weeks ago but i still feel the same. nothing ever feels real anymore. also i constantly have deja vu only its because i dream every single moment of my waking reality before it happens and then it happens like time is going in a loop. please help. i cant carry on like this. thanks.
Best answer:
Answer by Jin
Probably nothing, you’re just being a teenager.
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