Crystal Meth Facts: Am I Becoming Mentally Ill? Plz Help!?
Question by Nick: Am I becoming mentally ill? Plz Help!?
Okay i need to get this off my chest. I’m 19 years old and have always been a nice kid. I have always been strong in my faith and am a Christian. I used to smoke pot heavily for 2 years and recently i was breaking down because i couldn’t quit it (i was sick of doing drugs and being a waste of life). My parents moved me out to a small town in Arizona and i got in with the wrong crowd. They did hard drugs and the one i tried, which i know was stupid of me, was crystal meth. I did it about ten times in a 6 month period and will never do it again. 2 months after stopping that stupid drug i still smoked weed and the kid I know who I would pick up from told me about a new legal drug. So me being stupid i tried the new “bath salts”. Worst mistake in my life, if you read up on that drug it can induce psychosis from all the toxins, cause severe anxiety, and make people go psychotic. I only did it once (didn’t feel somewhat normal for a month and a half tho), but did a lot (1/3 of a container of 8 ballz), and after that i will never touch drugs again. I quit everything and just want to live soberly for the rest of my life (2 months sober 😀 woohoo!). The only problem is i think i may be losing it. I have the biggest fear of becoming mentally ill and cant stop thinking about it. It usually hits me in the morning when i wake up. Although i don’t know if i had psychosis because i never wanted to hurt anyone, didn’t hallucinate (while i read stories about people hallucinating off their ass from this drug), or become psychotic, but my thoughts were racing (like a million thoughts per minute). But my mind doesn’t feel normal anymore. I get worried about doing things i would never be worried about doing because they might set off schizophrenia or something. I’m going to see a doctor about it because these fears are taking me over, its hard to relax and calm down (it has been going on 2 months now). I have a paper due for psychology but i just don’t want to go because i don’t want to hear about mental problems. The thing is though there are some parts of the day i feel perfectly normal and happy. I get along fine with the friends i used to have (back were I used to live, i keep in touch), ill do everything my parents ask me (i love em to death), and pray all the time (i just want to be normal again). I stopped talking to all the kids i know out here because i want to stay away from drugs and problems. I guess ill put down a list of symptoms i have and if anyone could reply i would greatly appreciate it.
I feel my mind isn’t stable (i feel a spacey air headed feeling, like my mind can go off at any moment)
Hard to enjoy things
Uncontrollable fears (cant stop thinking about these fears)
I have been acting out conversations in my head (I’ve read that can be a symptom of mental illness, i used to do it before this happened but a lot more now about things i would say to a doctor or therapist)
Cant stop looking stuff up about mental illnesses
I did have a lot of anxious feelings but that went away and it turned into just plain fear
Headaches
Over think everything i do
I’ll cry sometimes (never cried in the last 2 years until now, except when i broke down about doing drugs)
Stressed out a lot (never was before because I was a dumb stoner)
Keep looking out to see if I hallucinate or hear something not there (always think i do but turns out to be nothing or the noise was actually there)
Really hard to concentrate
Weird mental state when laying down and falling asleep (uncontrolled thoughts, like i woke up this morning didn’t want to get up and tried going back to bed but i heard my mom call my name. Not like i really heard it but inside my head.)
Everyone’s always telling me how handsome I am, and that I’m smart (I always did good in school). I don’t know what it is. I don’t think anyone’s controlling my mind but i don’t feel like I have strong control over it. The other night i watched Source Code with my mom and I experienced derealization (i felt emotionless). I just want to be normal, I love to help people and care very much for those around the world who are suffering. My goal is to get involved with missions around the world and join the peace core after college. But why cant i get over this why do i constantly think about mental problems. Again i would greatly appreciate any response, I just really don’t want to become mentally ill. Thinking about uncontrolled hallucinations scares the crap out of me. I know i made mistakes but want to fix all of them, why is this happening to me? I pray all the time not to become mentally ill, I just want to get over this and live a normal life. God bless those of you who do have these full blown illnesses, i hope you live strong happy lives because this is the scariest thing to me and i really don’t want to develop a mental problem.
Please Help! ( I hope that stupid
after please help i put ( i hope that stupid bath salt drug didnt ruin my life, it all started after i did it )
i also take Ginko biloba now and 3 fish oils a day
Best answer:
Answer by Ducky
This is so very serious.
I have read about the bath salts and seen documentaries on them.
Kids have killed themselves over this drug.
You NEED to get help.
I know it will be hard.
Tell your parents or some adult you trust. Make sure they know the horrible things this drug does.
Most Doctors don’t even know how bad this stuff is.
I think I saw this on Dr. Phil.
Pull it up and show someone how this could kill you.
I feel so sorry for you!
You need a very good team to look after you while you recover from this.
BUT….you can do it. Just don’t wait another minute.
Good Luck,
Ducky
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