About Crystal Meth

Question by Chris: Relationship advice when someone distances themself?
I fell in love with a twink who got taken away into foster care for 3 MONTHS.

I’m older than him, so I suspect that’s the reason he’s not allowed to see or call me; however, even prisoners get to make and receive calls/visitors and conjugal visits.

He’s allowed to hang out with other friends his age.

One day you love someone and the next day they’re gone by no fault of your own (foster care). That’s so unfair.

Maybe that has somthing to do with why im obsessing.

I’m just sad that he made the choice to date someone else (23-year-old recovering crystal meth addict) during foster care when he knows i was interested.

Now, he stopped taking the initiative to contact me; however, before he got taken away into foster care it was ALWAYS him calling ME. Thats why im so confused.

He responded to an email saying he “misses me” but hes “not single anymore”.

He is 17, a high school drop out , addicted to weed, bi polar, ADD, paranoid, anxiety, fear of failure, works at micky d’s, parents never married and split etc..

Anyways, he posted on his myspace his new job location at mcdonalds with the exact address so im thinking he did that for a reason?

so i went to visit him and he completely ignored me.

We live 1 hour and 30 minutes from each other so obviously i felt horrible.

why would he tell me he “misses me” and wants to “get together” when hes back after 3 months? it hurts life hell.

i guess whatever relationaship we had before foster care is over?

He gets out in 4 weeks.

i havent had anyone like him in 5 years.

Im just really sad and heart broken that he’s with another guy and ignoring me , especialy since we were going so well for 2 months before he got taken away.

We were never officialy dating or boifirends. I was kind of a sugar daddy to him, but it worked.

I’ve decided to stay off myspace and hope when he gets out of foster care in 4 weeks that he will call me.

I dont know what to do?

Best answer:

Answer by HMFan
Obviously for some reason he’s decided that you are not for him. For whatever reason(s) there is something you could not provide for him. Your perception of “going so well for 2 months” may be your take on the situation; what was his? Did he feel the same way?

Old habits–especially those involving drugs and other addictive substances–can be VERY difficult to change. Though you may have had him on the path to “clean living,” unless he’s committed to that, maybe that’s what he craves and that’s what you weren’t providing (or were actually preventing).

It sounds like he’s made his choice and you’d probably be ahead moving on. I know that isn’t what you want to hear but this kid sounds like a bit of a mess and apparently you couldn’t break through enough to convince him to make something of his life. That has to come from within him; no one can force him to do that.

You may just want to cut your losses NOW while it’s less painful and let him know that you’ll always be there for him. That would be a nice gesture but DON’T let him come back into your life just so he can “find a safe haven” or borrow money or use you emotionally in any other fashion. Friends and partners don’t do that: they don’t simply show up when they want something and take advantage of your hospitality. They’re there through the good AND the bad.

Good luck.

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