Constructive Criticism for This Fragment of My Rap?
Question by Oklahoma SOONERS.: Constructive criticism for this fragment of my rap?
I’m sick of my rhymes being compared to whackass raps
rhymes stepped on like a door mat
Starin at niggas sh*t like what the hell is that?
They talkin bout stupid a*s facts, I’m talkin bout bustin caps and smokin crack
I’m drowning in my raps, suffocatin in it like a plastic sack
Haters can’t see me like I’m wearin black and a Jason mask
Im so tired of the drama, I needa a nap
I’m a born leader, y’all just steppin in my tracks
Stressed as f*ck I’mma needa bag
Constantly nagged,” Nigga, why you so bad?”
Least I got outta rehab, and haven’t gone back!
last year I was released, had a f*ckin relapse
Used to be strung out on drag & lortabs
Sad that I’ve been back stabbed so many times the only place left to stab is my a*s
Nick-nack patty whack, boned so hard it threw out my lower back
Give me a pipe, match, and some grass
Sit on Santas lap “what do you want for Christmas kid?”
Anal beads in my a*s & a bag of crack.
Haters can get zapped like a knat in a bug trap
If you can’t ride or die b*tch fall back
You think your bad, I’m runnin circles around you like we’re on a fu*kin track
Get your a*s beat down, lay your a*s out on the ground
& I pulled myself off the ground, now I stand on a mound of the people that’ve put me down
Heaven bound, lost but not found
My heart pounds lucky to still hear its sound
Just want to make my family proud, it’s my turn to wear the crown
Screamin but no one can hear the sound over the crowd
I got humor on the surface but pain deep down
Never taken seriously, looked at like I’m a f*ckin clown
Pushin out all their doubts
I don’t see a noun- a person, place, or thing
I see me, knee deep in a sea of painful memories
& if I’m drowning who’s gon’ rescue me, dealin with the b*llshit
Patiently, they say they gon’ pray for me
But realistically how many care about what I need?
& they say a journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step
But every time I do, I’m scared of what’s next
My father addicted to crystal meth
Best answer:
Answer by Trylemma (Ron Paul 4 Prez)
Not a good look
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